Pathfinder

i.

I walked to the Cape Girardeau Library across
all 12 lanes of I-64     looking for manifest
destiny      manifested in crushed shells and
skeletal remains       I climbed across the spine
small world      calcium iron      Portland cement
all the way to Portland where I shuffled toward
the ocean      into it      looking for eldritch
revelation      The revolution of salt and oxygen
a mistake I walked across the threshold to
correct      Looking for a mystery of faith to
drown in      My body and blood pressed
poured out      I can’t breathe under the rubble
the grave stone   The road goes on the shoulder
blooms 

ii.

In Bobrivka I dug out of a trench while drones dropped thermite      on kidnapped adolescent alcoholics      sent to rape pillage die for an imaginary past       A dragon of semiconductors and plastic       In Rafah dragged out burning twisted collapsed house gray and blood caked       American planes dropping American bombs      on my family my school my life       A dragon of Beralcast      Indium Zinc Oxide       I can’t dig myself out of the hole      in the dark part of my heart       where these people go to die      A dragon of silence and stillness      I can’t dig myself out Give me your hand a word   a 
peaceful grave                                                                          

iii.

I went into the sewer looking for shell casings
I killed a man two signatures away      from
being a mass murderer himself      My back will
be broken forever so I shot him in it      My
father will always be dead from cancer     If I’m l
ucky the state won’t execute me      If you’re
lucky they won’t stiff you the bounty      This
isn’t a country it’s a business and my bill is due
The rats with tiny backpacks brain implants
and face recognition enabled glasses will find
me down here      Go back to their handlers for
a treat      A little coke and fentanyl nice warm
box to make more rats in      I’m down in the
sewer     looking for a savior                                       

iv.

I drove to the Morgan County prison      went 
through gates and security      with notebook 
and questions about Poe      if these men felt 
their hearts beating under the floorboards
in the walls      if they were afraid of birds or 
just eagles and what they can do to your liver
or as a symbol      The swastika tattoo covered 
up by plum and red wheelbarrow is a better
story      than the one we read in our room 
without internet pencils      The old man in the 
yard in white with broom      looks like Gabriel 
turned to deliver a message only     no wings 
no Mary     One asks me about Daniel The lions 
cave light pin prick feel so far away                         

v.

I clung to rope just below waterline      Off 
coast of warm collapsing country      In shark-
infested waters      I fear I’m more afraid of 
sharks than all the people who want to kill me
They are just at home       I ran away from death 
toward more than surviving     I hid in shallows 
from fascist inflatable dinghy full of soldiers 
dark no future      Below me bodies hopeless 
and uncollected      no pictures in the paper      I 
clung to the last thread of light on western 
horizon      rock jutting up to silver sky    gravel 
finally beneath me     I hid in a common tongue 
and usefulness     Soggy money clean and good 
enough   to start again